Online rosary

2023: Neither Tinubu nor Osinbajo are in good shape

TOSSED up, Nigeria’s rotating politics is a three-sided coin: head, tail and middle. All three sides came into play on Friday when a photo taken at the All Progressives Congress Southwest presidential hopefuls meeting hit the internet with a twist in the tail.

In the photo, some of the APC presidential hopefuls from the South West flashed smiles on their faces but kept bile in their hearts. They reached out to shake hands but swords were hidden in their sleeves. If stares were daggers, many would have been stabbed to shreds.

There was more peace in Ukraine than peace in the Lagos House meeting place in Marina. There was more love in the forest of Sambisa and more warmth at the bottom of the ocean than the dubious affection shown by the political maturity of the Yoruba to deceive that all is well.

All is not well in the APC. The reported refusal of Interior Minister Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola to sit alongside APC National Secretary Otunba Iyiola Omisore and Osun Governor Adegboyega Oyetola is testimony to the fact that the water from the APC well is boiling.

The main politicians present at the fence repair meeting were the chief organizer, the party’s former acting national chairman, Chief Bisi Akande, and the co-organizer, a former governor of Ogun State, Chief Segun Osoba.

Also present at the meeting were the so-called national leader of the party, Asiwaju Bola Tinubu; his former godson, but now the rallying point of some disgruntled party radicals, Professor Yemi Osinbajo; Omisore, Minister of Industry, Trade and Investment, Otunba Adeniyi Adebayo; former Governor Gbenga Daniel of Ogun State, former Governor turned Senator, Chief Ibikunle Amosun; Governor Oyetola, Governor of Ekiti State, Dr Kayode Fayemi; Governor of Ondo State, Arakunrin Rotimi Akeredolu; The Governor of Ogun State, Chief Dapo Abiodun, and a former Deputy Governor of Oyo State, Chief Adeyemo Alake.

An unknown evil genius sympathetic to Tinubu had harnessed his creative malice, turning a religious tale into a harmless APC image, and posted it online, setting the stage for an online war.

The evil genius had excluded other APC stakeholders from the picture, leaving out only 13 cross-cutting leaders of the ruling National Party. He then placed the APC image above the timeless Last Supper painting involving Jesus Christ and his disciples, drawn by Leonardo da Vinci.

When the photo of the 13 APC leaders appeared online alongside the 13-man painting of Jesus and his 12 disciples, it was captioned “The Last Supper.” Afterwards, Tinubu’s supporters and Osinbajo’s rushed to toss the political coin toss while a wary few seized the middle.

Osinbajo’s supporters, unwilling to tolerate the tag of “treason” being pinned on their aspirant, asked, “Who is Jesus in the picture?” Tinubu’s supporters retorted, “Judas knows himself.”

Preferring the central side of the coin, however, I thought the best caption for the APC image was “A Last Supper Without Jesus”, because I saw no Jesus at that supper, nor a single Judas. Remember, Judas was the treasurer of Jesus’ ministry. He got 30 shekels of silver. He was a rich man. Only the wealthy can afford to pay N100 million for the presidential form.

Contrary to newspaper reports, the purpose of the meeting was not to choose a consensus candidate. The aim was to ease political tension between Oduduwa’s presidential sons.

Baba Akande, a staunch supporter of Tinubu, strongly believes that the former Governor of Lagos will crush the former Commissioner for Justice and Attorney General of Lagos in a free and fair presidential primary. Akande believes that the slander campaign between supporters of Tinubu and Osinbajo will harm the eventual APC candidate, hence the need to rein in the warring party’s supporters.

Despite his obvious fragility, which he alluded to by saying that the president’s job does not require strength but brains, Tinubu seems to have carved his way deeper into the hearts of party leaders across the country with his mark of paid politics even as the slogan, “Judas the traitor”, caught on among party members.

What does a Tinubu presidency portend for Nigeria? Hazard. His prebendal political variety will suffocate political space, put public money in private pockets, and make a few supercharged buddies feel entitled to the national treasure, singing young s’oke ko tun young s’apo.

Tinubu’s Machiavellian policies have been supported in Lagos by the National Union of Road Transport Workers, a murderous organization that has worked hand in hand with the ruling party in Lagos State since 1999. Nigeria does not need of such a man to be president.

If Tinubu’s godson and former state chairman of the National Union of Road Transport Workers in Lagos, Musiliu Akinsanya alias MC Oluomo, could be rewarded with the hastily created post of chairman of the Lagos parks management committee , after being sacked by the national NURTW, lives on The streets of Lagos would be cheaper than the land if Tinubu became president.

Osinbajo is a hypocrite. After serving under two terrible masters, Tinubu, and retired Major General Muhammadu Buhari, for four terms, Osinbajo hopes to emerge sparkling from 16 years of political confusion. Èyàn ò tan ara è bii Bàbá Fìyìn.

Osinbajo is a good talker. Gold is the color of honey in her mouth. Gold is the color of the political fire that blows through APC’s thatched-roof house. In the King James Bible, Jesus said, “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bear good fruit. So how can the Osinbajo tree whose roots have drawn water from two poisoned streams for 16 years bear good fruit?

In Daniel 4:14 there is an instruction on what to do with bad trees: “Cut down the tree and cut off its branches; remove its leaves and scatter its fruits. Let the beasts flee from below, and the birds from its branches.

Tinubu, the former patron of Osinbajo, never claims to be a saint. He does not wear a turban or clasp a rosary. His son, Seyi; Folashade Tinubu-Ojo, daughter and General Iyaloja of Nigeria, and other family members are shamelessly grabbing the fattest pies in the country as hunger plagues the country. But what is Osinbajo’s son Fiyin doing with a big bag of dollars on the bus taking guests to Buhari’s son Yusuf’s wedding? And you think Osinbajo learned nothing from Tinubu and Buhari whose daughter, Hanan, turned presidential planes into toys.

Someone asked me which man of God was involved in multi-billion naira road contracts in Osun during the Aregbesola years. I replied, “I don’t know the book o, ishh.”

Another person also asked me, “Which servant of the Most High is currently distributing dollars and naira to traditional rulers, merchants and merchants?” I replied, “If Buhari could reward indicted, suspended and disgraced Ibrahim Magu with the promotion of AIG, why arrest IPOB members for calling Nigeria a zoo?”

If you think certificates or the pulpit confer wisdom or integrity, remember Goodluck Jonathan and receive meaning. By the way, there is little difference between the way of thinking of the Nigerian Vice Chancellors and that of MC Oluomo. The wives of Nigerian Universities Vice-Chancellors have formed an association, called the Nigerian Universities Vice-Chancellors Spouses Committee, and it is strongly supported by the Nigerian Universities Vice-Chancellors Committee.

As the Nigerian public university strike enters its third month, VC wives are embarking on a 1.5 million naira per person trip to Turkey to learn how to help their VC husbands build capacity. Would the husbands of VC women also participate in this madness?

Yesterday, MC Oluomo was the State Chairman, NURTW. Today he is Chairman of Lagos Parks Management, tomorrow he will be Vice Chancellor and King. Yīqún hóuzi.

Copyright PUNCH.

All rights reserved. This material and any other digital content on this website may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without the prior express written permission of PUNCH.

Contact: [email protected]